A soulmate is defined as: “a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.”
The term “affinity” refers to “kinship of spirit”, characterized by high levels of intimacy and sharing.
Soulmates are thought to commonly share similarities, love, romance, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, compatibility and trust.
Realistically, soulmates can be anyone you share a personal connection to; these people can be best friends, siblings, family members, spouses, classmates, coworkers– you get the idea.
The word “Soulmate” itself suggests the meeting of two souls, two halves meant for one another. Although a romantic sentiment, it’s not one I immediately agree with. If we look at the word differently, it can be interpreted as souls who meet and share a relationship (mate; friend).
I believe that the person with whom I decide to spend my life romantically and create new life with will absolutely be my soulmate. But I also believe that a soulmate is not limited to one person. I don’t see people as incomplete halves to a whole. Every life and every heart is completely different.
I have friends who never want to marry and friends who adamantly insist they will never bear children. That’s okay. I don’t judge and therefore I can’t possible believe that we are all lost souls searching for our mates. I can’t possibly entertain that in a world of 7.5 billion people, there is only one person who is the right “match” for me. How lonely a world would it be if you never met that one friend who you “felt like you knew your whole life?” What about that one relative that was always there for you when the rest of your family was making life difficult?
I believe instead in something a little more magical. I believe that a soulmate can be anyone with whom your soul travels alongside for any period of your own personal journeys.
In less words, a soulmate is anyone you have or had a strong connection with.
Notice how I included past and present soulmates in that last statement? Good, because that’s my next point.
I have soulmates with whom my soul traveled a while, but who are no longer in my life. These mates, these friends- were all drawn into my life for a purpose. Our energies were pulled together to teach one or both of us a lesson. And when our vibrations began to change and we began to follow our hearts, our communication naturally dissolved. These people are still soulmates of mine. They may not be in my everyday life anymore, but they are always in my heart. They either made an impact in my life or triggered a big change in my life that taught me about myself.
I also have soulmates who come in and out of my life at different periods and help me traverse difficulties I might be facing. These people are my “chosen family” and I know I can always count on them. Sometimes I go days, weeks, even months without talking to these mates. Sometimes it will even be years before our vibrations realign and draw us together again.
I’ll use a friend of mine as an example: We met 11 years ago, started hanging out 10 years ago, realized we had a strong connection, became best friends 7 years ago, spent almost every day together and then one day my energy changed. We learned a lot from one another, but the universe was pulling me off in another direction toward more self-growth so I had to follow my gut. I moved away, we tried to stay close, but life led us in two different directions. I struggled with not having her in my life and it was a difficult period for our friendship. But then one day, when the timing was right, our souls realigned. We fell back into our vibrations that brought us to one another to begin with. Having gone off and followed my heart, I had learned about myself and I was better equipped with coping mechanisms to help me through new challenges I may face. But over time, her energy changed as well. It was her turn to leave, to grow, to bloom. And since I knew through our experience what would happen if I tried to hold on too tightly, I held her friendship with an open hand.
Low-key gonna get me crying on here now. You know who you are girl. I love you so much my Moose friend.
I have a good handful or two of special people like this in my life. Some are family members, many are friends, few are romantic partners. Some of these people are from my past, others are still in my life- but they are all soulmates to me.
I hold open hands with my friendships. I don’t over-rely or suffocate. I try not to ever judge or make assumptions. Part of being an empath is having high-quality and deep connections, but not a ton of them. That’s okay though. When I was younger, I felt like people didn’t like me and that’s why I didn’t have many friends. But looking back, I’m happy with the friends I did make. The ones with whom my soul traveled are the ones I was meant to befriend all along.
As far as I can see, soulmates are drawn into your life for a couple different reasons.
- A soulmate can come into your life for a reason. Maybe you needed support through a tough time, maybe you needed a wake up call, or maybe you just needed a friend you can count on. This person can come into your life for any number of reasons, but often it will feel like they came at exactly the right time.
- A soulmate may come into your life to share a gift with you. This can come as a lesson or as guidance. Sometimes just their presence is enough to cause a shift in your thoughts and beliefs. This can guide you to a higher understanding of yourself and an increased level of awareness and growth.
- A soulmate may come into your life because they are simply drawn there! This usually encompasses romantic partners, friends whom you spend a lot of your free time with, “soul sisters” and the like. These soulmates often come into your life for an eternity. These are your soul bonds. These are the soulmates who you always cherish as family, no matter what happens or how long it’s been since you’ve talked or seen each other. These are the ones you can go years without seeing and then upon seeing one another, it feels as if no time has passed. You pick up right where you left off and life goes on as it should.
I’m grateful for all of the connections I’ve had in my life. Even the times that seem dark would not be so without the comparison of light. And to know that there is light is a strength we are given to withstand the dark, even when we are frightened. Without one, we cannot appreciate the other.
Always with love